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From Caitlin's Blog

Beautiful Mess

Have you ever woken up, and when reality hit you, it felt more like a dream than real life?  A dream you wish you weren't living, because everything is just too unknown, too over-your-head, too much of a mess...There comes a time in each of our lives when life just happens, and it seems to be way beyond what we can handle.  It's called brokenness.  We live in an imperfect, fallen world, which is being redeemed and reconciled through Christ (He's already won the victory, but He has yet to return for that final completion of the battle).  Yes, He paid it all on the cross and He is daily making all things new, but we're not promised always an easy road in this lifetime, without blood, sweat, and tears.  Rather, we are promised trial and testing, time and again through Scripture.  Trials to refine our faith in the fire, to mold our souls closer to the image and likeness of our Savior Jesus.  

One day I was sitting with a friend and sweet sister in Christ in a cafe, just sharing with one another about life, opening up our hearts, and talking about the Lord.  She was referencing this idea of life being a mess, yet a beautiful one.  It made me pause for a moment and think about how we need to intentionally seek out beauty in the midst of the chaos this life so often becomes.  I shortly thereafter sat down at my piano and innocently wrote a song called "Beautiful Mess".  Little did I know on that day that very soon after, my world would turn upside-down, and my life would become a mess that was completely out of my hands.  As I faced the shock of it all, I would need to surrender everything, all of me, to the Lord.  Little did I know that I would be facing a diagnosis that was so unknown...that my future was completely held in the hands of God.  Little did I know that on this journey, I would meet a man who would capture my heart, and yet in the middle of my health battle and journey, he would face his own medical diagnosis that was more than daunting.  Yes, it seemed like our lives had turned into a mess.  And yet, in the midst of it all, Christ was doing something beyond beautiful, and we became witnesses of miracle after miracle.  

That journey began over two years ago, and life has never been, and never will be, the same.  I would not have chosen the messy road, but that road of mud and mountains and valleys and thickets and thorns has done a beautiful work in my heart, showing me the glory of our Lord and the reconciliation and redemption of His creation in such a powerful way.  This month, on October 11, we released the song "Beautiful Mess" to you all for the first time, and even that day will forever be one we remember, as my husband's Grandmother went home to be with Jesus.  It was a day filled with mourning and with rejoicing.  The losses of this life are so very real, and yet the victory of the life we await is an even greater reality for those whose hope in the Lord.

"Beautiful Mess" has been the anthem of my heart during my journey over the past two years.  As a songwriter, only a few of my songs stand out that are so incredibly personal to my story and my life.  I've seen firsthand how the Sovereign Lord can take the mess and chaos of life, and bring beauty and miracles out of it all.  I am truly in awe of the grace and power of God.  I pray that this song speaks deeply to those who hear it, as a reminder of hope, which anchors the soul- hope rooted in Jesus Christ alone.  At times, our personal lives are a mess.  It could be a health hurdle, or it could be a relational struggle.  It could be financial.  It could be emotional or physical.  It's hard enough to handle our own lives day in and day out, but then add to that the mess of our nation during these times, and the mess of our world today.  It's not uncommon for hearts to despair.  I challenge you to read the following passages and take heart.  I challenge you to look at the mess you may be walking in today through a new perspective- may your eyes see beauty and your soul see miracles, for both beauty and miracles are very present and both are the greater than the physical reality around us.

I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me.  Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:  Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.  I say to myself, 'The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him."  - Lamentations 3: 19-24

"The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.  For in Him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him.  He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.  And He is the head of the body, the church; He is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything He might have the supremacy.  For God was pleased to have all the fullness dwell in Him, and through Him to reconcile to Himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through His blood, shed on the cross."  - Colossians 1:15-20

"All this is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:  that God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ, not counting people's sins against them.  And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation.  We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us.  We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God.  God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God." - 2 Corinthians 5:18-21


Beautiful Mess Available on

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